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Dads: Shepherd Your Family Like God Shepherds Us

A father is called to shepherd his family in the same way God shepherds His family.

We see a beautiful picture of how God shepherds us in Psalm 23. I imagine David looking over his flock and thinking, “I wish I was a sheep.” The sheep doesn’t have a care in the world. The shepherd does everything for them and as long as they stay close to the shepherd, they have everything they need.

This is why he begins Psalm 23 with “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.” (v. 1). He’s saying, literally, “I don’t need a thing.” You could say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I want Him”, because with Him comes everything I need. In Him, I lack nothing. My Shepherd knows better than me what I need. I only know what I want.

Notice the role of the shepherd. The Good Shepherd brings, primarily, two things to His flock: provision and protection. In the same way, every father is a provider and protector of his family. Provision means, “to see ahead of time or beforehand” and protection means, “to cover over the front”. Every father serves the duel role of seeing what his family needs ahead of time and protecting his family, by leading the way in front of them. From the front he provides and protects.

  1. Provision (Psalm 23:1-4)
  • Dad provides himself. A father knows that his presence is what his family needs the most. My singular message to dads is, “Be there“. Error increases with distance and you must stay close to your family if you are to guide them well. This requires your best time and energy.
  • Dad provides rest.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures.” 23:2 Notice: “He makes me lie down.” This is not as much forcing one to lie down (though I do think that God does to us sometimes), but this is more like one makes a bed. The father creates a scenario in which lying down is all you want do. The shepherd takes us to safe places. He brings us to a place of soulful rest and peace. Dad brings this kind of peace into the home.

  • Dad provides restoration.

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” (v. 2-3) He restores us. He recharges our souls. He helps us recalibrate our lives. He revives us, brings recovery, renewal. He brings us back to life. He resets our hearts in Him. Dads bring life to the family because of the way his life is being constantly renewed by God’s Spirit, his Good Shepherd.

  • Dad provides direction.

“He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” (v. 3) God provides next steps. The sheep is not worried about the future because he knows the shepherd will guide him to the next step. God provides the next step in life and in death. He guides us to live for His glory, which is our life’s ultimate purpose. Dad helps guide his spouse and children in paths of righteousness to bring glory to God.

  • Dad provides comfort.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (v. 4) There is a long shadow of death over all of our lives. We cannot escape it, at least not for long. The shadow of death can come in many forms. It can show up as illness, loss, discouragement, or grief. Death, in all its forms, is loss. Loss brings grief and fear. Grief helps you move from one season of life to another, but fear can paralyze us. The father reminds his children that they need not fear because he is with them, to walk through every challenging season of the soul. Notice David is not running or crawling, but confidently walking through this valley. Notice too that it is a shadow. Shadows can’t hurt us. And the shadow is always bigger than the source. When you fear the shadow, it seems bigger than it is. But wherever there’s a shadow, there’s always a light. Turn your back on the shadow, your fear, and turn to the light. Fathers guide their families to turn to Jesus who is the Light of the world.

  1. Protection. (Psalm 23:5-6)

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (v. 5) Fathers bring protection and confidence to their children by lovingly encouraging them to let God be their Defender. Fathers teach their children that some people will not like them, even criticize them or seek to do harm to them. Godly men know that God is our ultimate Defender. Dads teach their kids that, if we trust the Good Shepherd, we don’t need to promote ourselves or defend ourselves. God will be our Defender and our Safe Refuge, even in times of trouble.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (v. 6) God protects us in life and in death. Notice that the ultimate destination is the Shepherd Himself. We end up in His House forever, with Him. Again, a father knows that the best gift he can bring his family is his presence.

God provides for us and He protects us. You can trust Him because of His provision and His protection. This is a beautiful picture of the Good Shepherd. But there’s a better one. Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” John 10:11 Jesus has already laid down His life for us, to provide eternal life and to protect us from the wrath of God, and an eternity in hell apart from Him. Isaiah 53:6 says, “We are all like sheep and have gone astray, each one to His own way. But the Lord laid on Him the sins of all.”

“For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” 1 Peter 2:25

Dads, you can trust Him. Let the Good Shepherd provide and protect you as you shepherd your family in the same way God shepherds us.

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Grace changes everything.

Many give up on the fight for purity because of past failures or habitual sin. This is precisely where Satan wants us to land. My counsel to young men has always been, “The good guys fight”, meaning that you’re either in the fight or you’ve given up the fight. Even “good” men (and women) battle sexual lust and temptation. Sexual sin is Satan’s easiest door to shame. In John 4, a Samaritan woman encounters Jesus and it transforms her, from a life of shame to forgiveness. This story exposes a kind of shame that defines many of us because of past sins, driven by on-going misplaced affections. Shame is a step beyond blame.

  • Blame says, “I’ve done wrong and I deserve to be punished.”
  • Shame says, “I am wrong and I cannot change. I can’t overcome my past, my mistakes, my failures.” I am who I am. Shame leads hopelessness and despair.

How do we move from shame to forgiveness? Like the woman at the well, when we realize that we are fully known and completely loved, our lives are changed. In his book, The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller writes: “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” To be known fully and loved completely is the greatest truth you’ll ever know.

1. God knows you fully. (vv. 1-15) Like this woman, God knows where you are and He’s gone completely out of His way to come to you, to find you. Like her, we seek diversions, a rerouting of the truth about ourselves. We guide our conversations, in an attempt to avoid the truth, so no one will truly come to know us. Many of us go through our lives like this. Are you fully known? Your greatest need is to be fully known. God knows everything about you. Psalm 139 says He knows when you get up and when you lie down. He knows what you’ll say before you say it. You can’t go anywhere and be away from His presence. He formed you in your mother’s womb. Wherever you are, He knows where you are right now. He’s pursuing you.

2. God loves you completely. (vv. 16-26) She was thirsty for love and clearly, she sought to satisfy this thirst through relationships with men. She thought that what she needed most would be found in the next man, a better relationship, the next love, in someone who would finally love her. We are all thirsty. We’re all craving love. He alone satisfies. And before we do write this off as a third-person story, don’t miss this: We all have lovers. Call them idols, other gods, false identities- we all have them. Who are you sleeping with? Jesus seeks to provide for you the one thing that He knows you actually need. The only thing that can quench this soulful thirst of the human heart is the love of God. What we need is what Thomas Chalmers, the Scottish minister, called, “the explosive power of a new affection.” Her problem is ours; it’s love out of order, disordered love, misplaced affections. Disordered love is when good things become God things. Misplaced affections need to be replaced by the far greater power of the affection of God, of the Gospel- what He has done for us in Christ. She needed what you need today, what I need: to be fully known and fully loved. What you need is a greater satisfaction in Him, the explosive power of a new affection. This is a life-changing reality: God knows you fully and He still loves you completely.

We see another sexual sinner in John 8, the woman caught in adultery. The woman turns to Jesus condemned by the law and the religious leaders. And after He silences those who wanted to stone her to death (by telling them, “If any of you are without sin, then let him case the first stone.” He then says one of the most amazing statements of grace (of the Gospel) in the Bible:

“Neither do I condemn you. From now on go and sin no more.” John 8:11

Notice the order of His words: You are not condemned by me, but forgiven – fully known and completely loved- let my love transform you and NOW, go and sin no more. Let my love compel you to holiness. Let my grace propel you into a life of obedience!” Most of us would say the opposite – “Get your act together, then I will no longer condemn you.” God’s acceptance of you is the power that liberates you toward obedience, not the reward of liberating yourself. We obey God, not to gain His approval but because we already have it (in Christ). Listen: God is not mad at you.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Sex is not the answer, it is however, an expression of the question. Another person is not the answer. More money is not the answer. A better job is not the answer. A new and improved you is not the answer. These things, these pursuits, these thirsts point you to the question. And they are designed to point you to the Answer. It’s why you can’t stop working. It’s why you’re never satisfied. It’s why you’re anxious. It’s why you can’t rest. Your restless soul is not the answer but it IS an expression of the question. And the ultimate question is: Can I be fully known and fully loved? YES, and His…

3. Grace changes everything. (vv. 27-42) She leaves her water jar (I love this detail). The greatest need in her life had been met- she realized that she is fully known and completely loved. This is the foundation upon which you can build your entire life, because circumstances cannot touch that. She had a new identity, a new resolve, a new motivation, and a new purpose, and a new message. She had no need for a jar that would slow her down. She has a new, relentless urgency, a new purpose altogether.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

You are totally loved, fully forgiven, and completely accepted by God. His grace changes everything. Now, as a portrait of His grace, live to the praise of His glorious grace.

On the Monday after Easter

it_is_finished-1Easter reminds us that we are part of a much larger story. And the Monday after Easter reminds us that it is still finished. For a pastor, the day after Easter is always a kind of let down. We work hard through the Easter season and we put a lot into the weekend. The Monday after Easter is real life. It’s where the reality of the resurrection is meant to be lived out, in the every day stuff of life. This is where we prove that we have joined the redemptive story of God.

Surely history is His story. The cross and the resurrection of Jesus is the epicenter of all history. He is the singular figure who split history into B.C. and A.D. and through the lens of Easter Sunday, everything makes sense. And without it, nothing makes sense.

But the day after Easter is a good day to ask: Is His story my story? Has the story of the cross and resurrection become your story? The way this happens is the same way it has always has: The cross precedes resurrection. Brokenness precedes blessedness. Death precedes life.

“When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, ‘It is finished,’ and He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.” John 19:30 This final cry of Jesus is three words in English but it is one word in Greek: τετέλεσται. It means to bring to perfect completion, finished, accomplished, even paid in full. This is arguably the greatest word ever spoken. Notice, He doesn’t say, “I am finished”, which would be a cry of defeat; but, “It is finished”, which is a cry of victory.

What did He finish? Has it become your story?

  • He finished the perfect life. In the garden the night before His crucifixion:

“I glorified you on earth, having finished the work that you gave me to do.” John 17:4 He’s referring to His perfect life- lived as a substitute for us. Just as central to your salvation as the cross, is the fact that Jesus lived the perfect life for you.

  • He finished the payment for our sin. He paid the price. The word tetelestai was written over a debt, meaning “paid in full”.

“He is the propitiation (atoning sacrifice, payment) for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.” 1 John 2:2. God forgives you only because Jesus has paid the price for your sin.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23 And because He finished the wage (payment) for your sin…

  • He finished the punishment for sin. God will never be angry with you again.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1 He finished the just punishment that was due us. People say, “Well, God loves us so He forgives us.” No, He does not forgive us simply because He loves us. God forgives sin only because Christ took on the wrath of God toward sin. God is loving yes, and His love is just. His justice is loving.

  • He finished the need for religion. Many people are surprised by this.

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” Matthew 5:17 Jesus fulfilled all of the crushing demands of God’s holiness, through His sinless life. Many of us are trying to finish something that has already been completed. In Matthew 27:51 it says that right after Jesus cried out “Tetelestai”, the giant veil in the Temple- that separated the Holy of Holies (the presence of God) from the rest of the Temple- was torn in two. The barrier between us and God (the religion of man and a Holy God) was torn apart. And it says, from the from top to bottom. It was from heaven down. Not man to God, but God to man, opening up the Way, destroying all of our religious self-salvation projects.

“For God has done what the law, (religion) weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh.” Romans 8:3 People say Christianity is not about religion, but a relationship. This is not the full truth. Everyone has a relationship with God already. You are either a condemned sinner before a Holy God or you are an adopted son or daughter before your Loving Father. It’s one or the other. Religion says you must do certain things for God to seek His approval. But in Christ it is done.

  • He finished the pathway to eternal life.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

So that’s it. Has IT become your story? Is His story your story? He finished all that is necessary for us to experience LIFE. But like every great story, there’s a twist:

It is – This cry is in the present perfect tense which describes an action that was fully completed in the past and its effects are being felt in the present. Jesus could have used the aorist tense and simply said, “the work is done”. The resurrection means that it is present tense. His story continues as we receive what He’s done for us. His resurrection becomes ours- it is the turning point of history and it is the turning point of your life, when His story becomes your story. Is His story your story?

It – all that’s necessary for salvation… is – present tense, nowfinished.

The big story of God’s redemption has now shifted. In the Old Testament priests were not allowed to sit when they were on duty, symbolic of the fact that their work was never finished. This is the religious life. You’re never finished.

But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God.” Hebrews 10:12 The Priest became the Lamb. The High Priest sacrificed Himself, and then He sat down. And through the lens of Easter Sunday, everything makes sense. This is present tense.

Is His story your story?

His story becomes your story WHEN you surrender your life to Him and receive His finished work on your behalf. The Cross precedes Resurrection. Death precedes life. You must surrender your life to Him. You must give up trying to finish it.

  • You cannot add to it.

When you discover that Jesus has finished what matters most you realize that all that matters is finished. Your unending need for love is finished. Your need for purpose is finished. Your need for assurance is finished. Your need for forgiveness is finished. Your constant need for more is finished in Him- more money, more worth, more power, more affirmation, more applause, more happiness- all is finished. More will never be enough until you find that Jesus has finished everything for you.

  • You can rest in it.

If you could summarize Christianity in one word, it would be tetelestai. Only in Christ do you find rest, because only in HIM is it finished. 

When Buddha died, his last words were, “Strive without ceasing… never stop striving.” But the last words of Jesus are, “STOP striving; I have done all the striving necessary.”

Religion says, “finish the work”, but the Gospel says, “Receive the finished work.” Rest in Him. But His story is not finished until it is finished in you. Luke 9:23, Jesus says, “If anyone will come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.” This is the story we find ourselves in. Is His story your story?

Is His story your story? His story becomes your story when you surrender your life to Him and receive His finished work on your behalf.

IT. IS. FINISHED.

The Silence of God – Andrew Peterson

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It’s enough to drive a man crazy; it’ll break a man’s faith

It’s enough to make him wonder if he’s ever been sane

When he’s bleating for comfort from thy staff and thy rod

And the heaven’s only answer is the silence of God.

It’ll shake a man’s timbers when he loses his heart

When he has to remember what broke him apart

This yoke may be easy, but the burden is not

When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God.

 

And if a man’s got to listen to the voices of the mob

Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they’ve got

When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross

Then what about the times when even followers get lost?

‘Cause we all get lost sometimes…

 

There’s a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll

In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold

And He’s kneeling in the garden, as silent as a stone

All His friends are sleeping and He’s weeping all alone

And the man of all sorrows, He never forgot

What sorrow is carried by the hearts that He bought

So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God

The aching may remain, but the breaking does not

The aching may remain, but the breaking does not

In the Holy, Lonesome echo of the silence of God.  

The Saddest Day in History – Good Friday

"The Three Crosses" by Rembrandt

“The Three Crosses” by Rembrandt

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  Matthew 27:46

 We call it “Good Friday”. But like so many things in the Kingdom of God, it was good for us, but bad for Him. What we call “Good” was terrible for our Lord Jesus. As you go about your day today, consider these facts: Early on that Friday morning, after no sleep the night before, Jesus was taken to Pilate’s prison. He was beaten by professional torturers who knew their craft all too well. He was then presented to the crowd who chose the notorious prisoner over the very Son of God. Throughout the day Jesus was silent and, ironically, directing every move that took place.

He was taken into the courtyard (called the Praetorium) and the entire company of soldiers surrounded Him. They stripped Him down to His undergarments, put a crown of thorns on His head, a staff in His hand, and knelt down before Him in mockery. They spat on Him and punched Him many times, as hard as they could. Later that morning, exhausted and famished, He carried His own cross to Golgotha and was nailed to it at about noon. Darkness came over the earth from noon until 3:00 p.m. Not much later that afternoon, Jesus cried out “It is finished!” and He died. Around 5:00 or 6:00 p.m. the women came to prepare His body for burial and they placed it in the tomb. The massive stone was rolled into place as the sun went down on the saddest day in history. And the angels were silent as all creation watched to see what would happen next.

As you go throughout the day today, be in a constant state of remembering what happened to our Lord Jesus. Think about each event as though it was all happening today. Consider the horrific emotional strain of knowing you are about to be killed, and greater still, the anticipation of the very wrath of God upon sin that would come upon you. And remember, He did all of this for one reason: you and me, so that we might be trophies to the praise of His glorious grace for all eternity. Remember also that it’s Friday, the saddest day in history, but… Sunday’s coming…

Pray: Lord, today I will walk with You through Your sufferings. I will meditate on every phase of Your sacrifice for me. My heart breaks over my sin that put You on the cross.