Category Archives: compassion

Gay marriage?

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“The saga of a nation is the saga of it’s families written large.”
- Dr. Tony Evans

I’ve been in the conversation with others this week regarding the president’s recent endorsement of gay marriage. As a Christian and American, I am saddened that our president doesn’t hold to a biblical perspective of marriage. Many have responded to the president’s announcement but I thought it necessary for me to offer my opinion as well, which is really not my opinion at all. As in all things, I bow to Scripture:
Let me say from the start, this issue is not difficult for the Christian. Jesus settled this issue, once and for all, in Matthew 19:4-5. He is very clear about God’s intention for marriage. And let me remind us all, Jesus was the most loving, grace-filled Person who has ever lived. Listen to His words:

“Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? Matthew 19:4-5

As a Christian, I’m going with Jesus on this issue. As if anything more needs to be added, here are some key points as we seek a biblical view on marriage:

1. We have been created to bring glory to God.
All of creation exists to glorify God and the chief goal of man is to bring glory to God. God’s glory is an expression of His character, namely His holiness. But His glory is the expresssion of any and all of His qualities. And all of His qualities are perfect and immeasurable. Marriage is an expression of God’s character and the love between and man and a woman is a picture of Christ’s love for us (Ephesians 5:21-33).

2. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:23 clearly states what we all know experientially. Every person on the planet has a south-bound gravitational pull toward sin and we cannot overcome it. It is true that all sin separates us from God, and in that sense, all sin is “equal”. But the consequence of our sin varies. We approach all issues (like homosexuality), with humility and compassion, knowing that none of us are righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10). I’ve discovered that the homosexual community would be more willing to hear our message of God’s saving grace if they were met with compassion and not judgment.

3. As an expression of God’s character (and for His great glory), marriage is to be between one man and one woman.
It’s clear early on in the narrative of humanity that marriage is to be an expression of God’s commitment to us through covenantal love. As noted earlier, Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” And the “reason” is presented in the verse before that, explaining the woman was made for the man, (and the man for the woman). The woman is the only one suitable for the man. A man is not suitable for another man. As I heard as a teenager, “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” I giggled then, now the statement seems necessary. Clearly, same-sex relations are unnatural. It is a miracle indeed that the union of man and woman (with all of our wonderfully distinct and dramatic differences) can display the grace and glory of God through covenantal love. But, by God’s grace, this is marriage.

4. Homosexuality is a sin because it falls short of God’s glory.
God’s Word is clear that homosexual behavior is sin:
• In Genesis 1 and 2 we see that God created man and woman for each other and that His design is for marriage to be between and man and a woman.
• Genesis 19 is a lengthy passage on the destruction of Sodom, having incurred God’s wrath because of homosexual activity. God’s Word defines the men of Sodom as “sinning greatly” because of their men were having sex with men (Genesis 13:13; 19:5). God calls Sodom’s sin “sexual perversion” (Jude 1:7).
• Leviticus 20:13 says that a man is not to have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; if he does he’s done a “detestable”(abhorrent, vile, despicable) thing.
• God lists “homosexual offenders” among “the wicked” who will “not inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9). It must be noted that on the same list are slanderers, adulterers, drunkards, and idolaters as well, and he notes that many of those believers in Corinth once lived in those lifestyles- implying that among them were those who no longer live as practicing homosexuals – having encountered the saving grace of Christ.
• God’s Word identifies husband-wife relations as “natural relations” and homosexual relations as “unnatural ones” (Romans 1:26-27) and “perversion” (vs. 27).
• God’s Word also rebukes those who “approve of those who practice” homosexuality (Romans 1:32).

5. Christians need a more thoughtful response to homosexuality.
Largely Christians remain ignorant regarding homosexuality. I’ve had countless conversations with homosexual friends and homosexuals seeking counsel. I was asked by a friend to go with him to receive the results of his HIV-AIDS test. I have a heart for the homosexual; I love homosexuals. I long for them to know a better way and I believe a sexual fast (a.k.a. “abstinence”) is the way for every single person to go deeper in relationship with Christ. He is more than enough for us. It’s been helpful for me to make a distinction between homosexuality and homosexual behavior. If an alcoholic tells you he/she has just received their seven-year coin of sobriety, you may wonder if he/she is truly an alcoholic. Of course they would tell you they most definitely are. I may struggle with lust but for me to act on my lust brings devastating and unwanted consequences. We are all born with a bent toward sin- all of us. You have a bent toward particular sin; I have bent toward other sin. The adulterous heterosexual is in deep sin, just as the sexually active single or homosexual is. It’s interesting to note that, according to an article in the Huffington Post, Gary Gates, demographer-in-residence at the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy at UCLA, estimates that 1.7% of U.S. adults self-identify as gay or lesbian. This is not to say the issue of gay marriage doesn’t matter (because it matters much- precisely why I’m writing about this), but there are much larger portions of our population involved in pornography, adultery, pre-marital sex, and all kinds of sexual sin. What we need is a clearer picture of God’s purpose for us all and His ultimate purpose for marriage.

6. Christ brought glory to God through His sinless life, His substitutionary death on the cross, and His resurrection.
Through Christ alone can we find forgiveness for our sin and the power to live our lives to God’s glory. Christ’s perfect life is as central to our salvation as His death and resurrection because He has done we cannot do. He fulfilled the Law and set us free from its condemnation. We can now live forgiven to His glorious grace. This is the Gospel and this is our only hope.

God’s treasures

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I’m in Guatemala this week for several reasons. We have a team here doing soccer camps and evangelism. We’ve come to see and encourage our own Erin Threadgill who is serving here (great to see Erin)! We’re also here to see how we can more effectively accomplish the mission of Jesus in this country. We have a wonderful partnership with Buckner International and they do amazing work, meeting the needs of “the least of these”. I was especially moved again by our trip to the city dump this afternoon. After visiting a couple of orphanages and potential church partners, we made our way to “ground zero”, in terms of poverty and need in the city. We met with an amazing team of leaders at Casa del Alfarero (The Potter’s House). This ministry exists to meet the physical and spiritual needs of the families and the children who live in the 16 communities around the dump. 6,000 children live in these communities. All of these families essentially survive by scavenging this massive city dump.

As we talked and heard the vision of “The Potter’s House”, and saw what they are doing, the words of one of the leaders (Hector) kept ringing in my head. “We call all of the people we serve ‘treasures’ because that’s who they are to God. We are all God’s treasures.” I was reminded of a more crude form of the same sentiment I heard years ago: “God don’t make no junk.” God desires all people to be His treasured possession. YOU are His valued treasure.

“For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.” Deuteronomy 7:6

Why Forgive?

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“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34  The first of seven phrases from Jesus on the cross is a prayer, not for Himself, but for His executioners.

Now, you think of someone you need to forgive.  But remember, we forgive people, persons, (individuals) not institutions or groups of people.  You forgive what they have done, not what they are.  And you can only forgive someone who has done something to you directly that has wounded you.

1. It breaks the chain of “ungrace”  Only grace breaks the cycle of retribution.  If Jesus had prayed, “Father, give them what they deserve” there would be no forgiveness- no grace.  Do you forgive others who are “executing/crucifying” you?  You see forgiveness has that maddening quality of being undeserved, unmerited, unfair.  But as I forgive, as you forgive, we break the law of retribution- the chain of ungrace is broken.     

2. It sets us free from anger  Often we think, “I have justifiable pain!”  This is simply another way of saying, “I will not forgive.” 

3. It sets the offender free  Forgiving does not remove our scars any more than a funeral takes away all of our grief.  We often carry a scar even after the wound has been healed.  But if we continue to have resentment over time, we are “feeling again” the pain caused and our response in hatred.  “Forgiveness” in the Greek means, literally, “to release, to hurl away, to free yourself”.  You know you have forgiven the person when you release the person to God- and even hope for good.

4. It heals the relationship  Forgiveness brings life to the relationship again.  But, not always- Jesus forgave but not every one was reconciled.  Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reunion or reconciliation.  Sometimes we pay for our sin by being shunned, let go- we are left to our desires and pay the consequences.  

5. It sets us free to love again  One of the best books I’ve read on forgiveness is Lewis Smedes’, “The Art of Forgiveness”. In it he writes, “When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.”

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”- Colossians 3:13   

Theologically, the Gospels give a straightforward answer as to why God asks us to forgive: because that is what God is like.  We are never more like Christ than when we forgive.  Why?  Because Christ has forgiven you.  We are to forgive “AS” HE has forgiven us.  How has He forgiven you?  Completely. Unconditionally. You cannot fully forgive until you’ve been forgiven.  Was Jesus’ prayer answered? Every prayer He ever prayed was answered.  You have been forgiven so that you might be one with God.

You and I cannot muster up forgiveness on our own.  We must allow Christ to transform us from selfish, prideful, unforgiving people into those who extend grace to others. But it begins when we embrace the One who is Perfect, the Giver of grace.

“The object of my faith is not personal change. It is the unchanging perfection of another Person.” Byron Yawn

 

Forgive.

The Ten Traits of a Healthy Family

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1. They have an irrational commitment to each member of the family. They display an illogical love for one another, spread lavishly and without discretion. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.” 1 John 3:1 Driven by 1 John 3:1, stunning amounts of love, kindness, and forgiveness are shared to family member.

2. They communicate with truth and grace. Mom and Dad model Ephesians 4:15 How we treat our spouse (and how we extend grace to our family members) will confirm or contradict what we believe about God.
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15 Create an atmosphere where truth can be discussed, regardless of how difficult it may be to talk about.

3. They affirm the value and uniqueness of each member of the family. Each person is loved for free and without judgment. His or her opinions and feelings are always honored.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7 Celebrate the uniqueness of each child in our family. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

4. They vow never to abuse, shame, control, or intimidate one another. “Oh, children are resilient- they bounce back.” No children are fragile and understanding that children are fragile- no emotional, verbal, or physical abuse is tolerated in any way and is immediately confronted. Consider the power of words.
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5
Unkind words are not tolerated- “We do not talk to each other like that in our family.” Parents: You must model kind words and challenge this early on.

5. They share a strong spiritual foundation. Parents recognize that a “mild
dose” of God will never cultivate a life that has Christ at the very center, guiding every aspect of life (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). There is no abdication of spiritual formation- no outsourcing to the church. We create spiritual orphans, spiritual schizophrenics. Complete disconnect! What’s your goal parents? There’s a big difference between a young person who goes to church & one who is truly sold out to God.

6. They teach respect for others. Racism, arrogant superiority, or disrespect
for people who are different is never tolerated. Jesus added to the Shema that we should love each other as we love ourselves:
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’.” Matthew 22:39
When you see a child who is different than other kids ask, “What would it feel like to be that kid?” Teach your children to love and honor all people- adopt Martin Luther King Jr.s’ dream for our nation. Help your children dream of the day when every person- Hispanic, black, Asian, European and all people will know that they are loved with the unprejudiced, unbiased, and unrestrained love of Jesus.

7. They instill a sense of responsibility in one another. Each member knows that they must take responsibility for their own actions and face the consequences of their poor choices. Self-esteem does not result from simply heaping large amounts of affirmation and praise. It happens when a child learns to be responsible.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives.” 1 John 1:8-10
Let the consequences do the teaching. It’s God’s way- and parents too often get in the way of what God wants to do, simply through the consequences of choices made or not made. Parents: Do NOT rescue your child. This takes courageous parenting- it takes faith- to believe that God will work in your children’s life as He sees fit. When you let the consequences do the teaching you place that child in the hands of God.

8. They play together. This is so important. Laughter and fun mark a family that builds strong relationships with one another.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

9. They celebrate rituals and traditions together. This gives the family a sense of constancy and permanence. They know that the love and commitment of the family will never change- this year, next year, and the next…
“Ask the former generations and find out what their fathers learned, for we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow. Will they not instruct you and tell you? Will they not bring forth words from their understanding?” Job 8:8-10

10. They seek help when they come to an impasse. They understand that all families have issues that may need outside or professional help and they are not afraid to ask for help when needed.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

God is very clear about the kind of families He wants us to have. Let us follow His principles and seek to honor Him in our families.